yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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