Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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