ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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