My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
