Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
