And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
