Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
