he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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