I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
