a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
