dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize