you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
