we have officially lost it.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
