did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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