I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
