He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
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I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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