Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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