Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize