Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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