I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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