She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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