I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
