Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize