i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
