i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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