She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
