We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
