my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
