girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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