And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
