I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
