it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
