i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
