Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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