You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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