sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
