He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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