Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
