So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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