Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
