ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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