I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize