WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
