Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize