I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
