No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
