I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
