my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
