he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
