So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
