How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize