I think I am morally bankrupt
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
