Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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