She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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