great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
