Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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