four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
