Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
