i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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