some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
