I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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