I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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