sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i love accidental penises.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
