you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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