Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
