I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
