Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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