you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize