can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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