im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
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I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
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The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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