I'm eating all of the evidence.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's official drugs can't kill me
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize