They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
